It has been some time since I have publicly worked with the cards. A troubled marriage culminated in divorce, figuring out how to be a single middle aged lady with no husband, no kids at home, new connections, new career paths- those are what has kept me from writing, and honestly at times kept me from my cards.
At times, I have been leery of the cards, even. They said my former husband was it, the one. At every step, they affirmed our relationship. This was meant to be, we had this. But in fairness, at the worst moments of the realizing the marriage wasn’t going to work, I was not consulting the cards at all. I didn’t need them to tell me what I could feel in every cell of my body, and I didn’t have a way forward so I did what every good INFP does and utterly disassociated. My former husband made some choices that changed the outcome, I made some choices that changed the outcome, and here we are. I loved him deeply, and I will hold affection and fond memories of him until the end of time, but I have critical needs that weren’t being met, and eventually not having those things became more painful than the prospect of divorce, even with the emotional, financial, and physical mess caused. Sometimes you just have to do the thing.
I am re entering the writing about my cards world today with a simple Mind, Body, Spirit spread.
The first card, indicating Mind, is the wishes fulfilled celebratory Nine of Cups. I am indeed joyful in my mind at this time, and gratefully so. I am closer today than ever before to having the things I want most in life, love and time to write being at the top of that list. I am surrounded by love daily, in this quaint old farmhouse where I live with my nesting partner, one sentient dust mop of a fluffy white dog, one silky perpetual kitten-cat, and the grandchildren tramping through on school breaks and the weekends. The nightly shared dinners, the twilight strolls, and the sweet flow of connection makes every day simple but delightful. My mind is self satisfied, as it should be.
My second card represents my Body, and with her long dark hair even resembles my physical form a bit. The Hanged Man is a card that says, we are waiting for the surrender, yet promises healing. I am in limbo physically at the moment, recovering from a long stint of anemia caused by blood loss. Anemia is such a strange condition, and a true frog steaming in gradually increasing hot water situation, in which it is manageable until suddenly it isn’t. There is no quick road to recovery either; just time and diligent consumption of iron supplements and rich foods. It is not life threatening, except when it is, and is not alarming or others to hear, so I am not sure everyone I have explained the situation to has understood the depth of my lack of energy, or will, to complete even simple tasks, or how it has made achingly tired, to the point of hospitalization more than once this summer. My iron reserves are beginning to build, and with that energy, but it is a slow process. I am now more aware of the signs and will not let it get to that point again, but in the meantime my only choice is surrender to this season and enjoy what I can have while not becoming bitter over what I can’t.
My Spirit card is the Three of Cups, the joyful, exuberant, toasting Three of Cups. My Spirit is delighted. It indicates true connection, and by divesting myself of dead ones that no longer functioned, I have made room for new ones that fill my senses. In the corporeal world, enjoying new friendships and romantic connections is enriching my life in countless ways, while in the ethereal realm, I am learning to allow the different aspects of my own Self to shine, to rage when they need to, to connect, and to flow. One of the things I often say to my partners is that I am feeling ever more myself. Yes, partners, another delightful synchronicity in the Three of Cups. Tarot always tells the truth.
78 Whispers In My Ear 